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Keeping You Safe from the Shambling Hordes
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    Grab your water wings, guys. We're taking a dip in the Mississippi in this episode. The crew is still heading southeast in an attempt to outrun the nuclear fallout Murphy unleashed on the Midwest. This is their last detour before resuming a westward course. Of course, nothing goes as planned...

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    This is an intriguing trend; half the show's season so far spent without most of the main cast. Matter of fact, none of the original survivors are in this episode. We're taken on a trip back to shortly after Rick and Michonne found Morgan holed up in what I lovingly refer to as his Crazy Nest. You know, that disgusting apartment with incoherent phrases scribbled all over the walls in a town set up to be a perfect zombie trap with all its sharpened stake fence lines?

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    There's a change in the guard coming to Alexandria. While Alexandrian's walls are stable, for now, the people inside crumble like cookies with too much butter. Morale isn't just in the toilet, it's been flushed and carried out to sea. The remaining residents are terrified, certain they'll die tomorrow...

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    Aside from a notable guest star, this episode is somewhat lackluster. Disappointing since the last few have been pretty solid and though the group's progress is slow, the plot has always moved forward. It lulls here. Not sure if it's because of the way the survivor group the crew encounters is written—they pretty much speak in nothing but business jargon—or if there's a subtle thing the writers wanted to show which got buried or edited almost entirely from the episode.

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    Rick is literally the last person I would want leading my survival group. He listens to himself, no one else. His selfishness knows no bounds. Deanna isn't ignorant to this problem. She expected Rick to finally grow to see her people as his after passing the torch...

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    While we're all pretending, let's pretend this is a good episode. When TWD comes back on February 14th, will we suffer through more of the same? I hope not. Not sure what I'm talking about? Keep reading through the spoilers below to figure out why this is some of the worst forty-something minutes in television history.


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    You get an origin story, and you get an origin story. Heck, origin stories for everyone! It's the flashback episode we've kinda been waiting for. I guess. It's not all flashbacks to the first day of the zombie outbreak, thankfully.

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    This episode is not for the weak-hearted. Matter of fact, I highly regretted filling my coffee mug just one more time before settling in to watch. Twenty minutes into the episode, I paused and took a five-minute break to watch puppy videos. Otherwise my heart would've exploded.

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    I never watched the show to see who would die. I kept watching because the characters made rational decisions in an interesting setting and the story pace never lagged so much, I wanted to wander off for a snack ten minutes into an episode. WARNING: This review contains episode spoilers.

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    I'm not sure one can write spoilers for an episode so utterly predictable, the only parts which surprised me were the few glistening moments where we saw some actual character development. Nevertheless, that's why we're here, to pick apart the show, find more tidbits to feed our need for decent entertainment.

    So many fans lay their hope for TWD's future on the Negan storyline. This is it, the chance for the show to realign with the chaos within the comics. Producers have promised fans they'd get what they want from this whole thing. If a nap was their ultimate goal, they succeeded.

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    New season, new outlook on how the show will progress. It's something I do with every show hitting its sophomore season; drop expectations and watch like it's a whole new beast.

    Only this beast is no monster.

    The mistakes are so similar to season one, I couldn’t maintain optimism the entire episode.

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    Once again, the writers show they have no faith in the viewer's ability to tell a story themselves unless they're guided by the nose the whole time. These characters are cursed. Every time they touch something, people die in droves. One might say the writers do it to show kindness has its cost same as hatred and fear-mongering. I say it's because they honestly do not know how to go about getting characters from their morning coffee before work to where Rick and his people are emotionally on TWD...

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    Now we know why all the paranoia last episode. They needed Daniel to be the one to do the dumb thing and salvage the most boring pirate invasion I've seen on television to date. I don't know how they expect fans to hang around for two more episodes, let alone stick out the entire fifteen-episode second season and the already-purchased sixteen-episode third season....

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    Warning: This article contains episode spoilers and a strong opinion.

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    What's new for season seven? The producers confirmed a visit to The Kingdom, plus many more survivors and locations. Gale Anne Hurd meowed at one point, which baffled show fans who haven't delved into the comic world. Kirkman admitted that once the show took off, he included things in the comics they'd never put on television....

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    Producer Gale Anne Hurd said, "We're really going to see a lot of things you've never seen on television before." Having seen the TWD trailer, that bar is pretty high. I don't think FtWD can deliver on the spectacle coming from its sister show. However, if they can get even an ounce of the energy from that trailer to translate to each episode's timing, I may consider watching it again.

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    Unlike some shows where the bad guys all have the same M.O., this one strives to venture into new, different lands. While having an episode plot based around "Who's really the bad guy," isn't shining and new in the idea department, it allows the SFX department to give us an episode we're not likely to forget.

    I mean, I'd wet myself if a skinless woman fell through my ceiling and ripped a prostitutes' arm off, let alone forget it happened anytime soon.

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    Zombie Reviews . . . Here Alone By A. Zombie Rated: TV-MA (Contains nudity, adult language, sexual situations) Language: English Starring: Lucy Watters, Gina Piersanti. Adam David Thompson, and Shane West A mysterious virus spreads across America. It starts out as a simple rash, but eventually the infected become angry, ravenous creatures set to fill
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  • 12/01/17--06:00: Zombie Reviews: Re-Kill
  • Zombie Reviews . . . Re-Kill By A. Zombie Rated: R (Contains intense violence, gore, adult language, sexual situations, and nudity) Language: English Starring: Roger Cross, Daniella Alonso, Bruce Payne, Scott Adkins, and Jesse Garcia What I love about the promo for Re-Kill is it presents the film as a serious Cops/SWAT team action flick.
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